We are discussing here Eddie. He came to see me in the fall of 2002, diagnosed with carcinoma. His lawyer, a tolerant mine, suggested that he consult me, as an endocrine clinical advisor during scientific research using natural progesterone to treat cancer at the Sansum medical clinic. Cancer is not my specialty. I focus on which, I think, is at the heart of most diseases. So I spent two hours going through his story, trying to find signs of age-related decline that would be the cause of his illness, to find out why he missed this brilliant adult male body at 52, and explain the biochemistry of cancer as associated with the complicated system of hormonal poor communication with DNA. Death as a Birth.
In fact, I had something for him
Exuding enthusiasm, Eddie asked, “So you have something to balance my ligands?” He was brilliant, one of the only patients to understand the scientific jargon of my theories. He was even hospitable to the psycho-spiritual roots of the disease, including the irony of having cancer after inventing thermal implants to treat brain tumors.
In fact, I had something for him – a formula to balance the hypothalamic orchestration of the neuro-immunoendocrine system – but, in theory only. After completing pilot studies the year before, my personal funds were exhausted and I had trouble finding a manufacturer to combine even a small batch. Eddie took my hand and offered to help.
“No,” I protested, “you came here on behalf of me to help you.”
“Maybe I came to help you. My cancer was a fortuitous portal for our meeting.”
So began our journey to make my formula so that he could enjoy it. He really believed that he would be cured by my invention. in the meantime, I recommended natural treatment because it was against traditional therapies, and I spent a lot of time advising it and sharing many spiritual portals. He treated me like a beloved girl, introducing me to colleagues who would pave the way for the birth of my nutraceutical product. By attaching myself, I looked for cures for his cancer.
The day I brought him the main bottle of Genesis Gold®, he smiled, waved me closer and whispered, “I knew you would roll in the hay.”Death as a Birth.
It was his last lucid moment. At the request of his family, I came to his charming villa in the hills of Santa Barbara to help him die. As an NP, I treated walking well. Some patients had missed the sometimes inappropriate years, usually in adulthood, but since I was a neophyte nurse, I had not witnessed death.
Surprisingly, he was not upset
After graduating as a nurse in 1983, I worked on a surgical floor at the UCLA center. We have seen the sickest heart transplants, complete surgical resections of the intestines, pulmonary resections. My first encounter with death was a girl, my age, dying of cancer. once I arrived on the night shift and saw her not resuscitating the order, I knew that her family and her doctors had given up. Not me! Before I didn’t let her drown in her own secretions and I stayed by her bed sucking up to her tracheostomy. Her intern refused to offer me a permanent suction order so that I could monitor my three other patients, so I gave her the suction catheter and called the chief resident. My colleagues were appalled. no one called the chief in the middle of the night, especially not a nurse. Death as a Birth.
Surprisingly, he was not upset but asked me if I had seen the DNR’s order. “Doctor, I’m not raising her. I just don’t need her to be alone. I …” Seeing the intern escape in the hallway, I tried to keep myself informed of the chief.
“Oh, no, you don’t
The nurse in charge helped me prepare the young adult’s body for the morgue. And with tears, I had to let my patient go.
Twenty years later, I was not as resilient. Eddie’s family left me alone with him. I sat at his bedside and pondered on how to help him pass. I had already advised each of its relationships. once i thought about her unwilling son who finally agreed to find his father after our phone conversation that morning, i felt a wave of gratitude. And it wasn’t mine, it came from Eddie. I opened my eyes.